Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Funny, I wasn’t planning on writing anything more today (not that I wrote a lot earlier), but hey, it’s a hazy grey day outside and it’s quarter past four here in the office.

The office. What a word. So loaded with meaning and connotation. So I sit at a desk, so what? It doesn’t make me any less interesting. Really, it doesn’t! (I’m not trying to convince myself, I’m not – I’m not!)

I’m going over to Jeremy’s after work. He’s making me dinner. Should be fun, though I will be stuck in my work clothes for the remainder of the day, which isn’t as relaxing as slobbing around in corduroys and my Hard Day’s Night T-shirt, listening to music and drinking beer and reading Haruki Murakami. But it will be fun at Jeremy’s. We’ll drink tea (and maybe wine!) and watch something mad he’s taped off the TV, and eventually wind up talking about art or writing. Jeremy’s this amazing artist who works as a Supervisor for conventions at a huge hotel here in Wellington. He likes his job, I’m not saying it’s not the right thing for him, it’s just that he could easily just paint full time, he’s that good.

Jeremy’s a fun guy, he’s good to slouch around with. I remember back before I left to go to Dublin, we once spent a good month or so, trying to get through Tomb Raider 2. Every weekend, we’d sit down with the walkthrough – only to resort to once frustration set in! – and try to get as far as we could. It was Jeremy who also organised trying to watch all the Twin Peaks episodes, that you can find at Aro Video (which is just around the corner from my new place). So, now I’ve qualified the night before I’ve even had it, hopefully it will be a good time.

Work wants to extend my contract. Actually, I think they want me to come on full-time. They’re pretty cool about me taking Italian and Old Norse at uni at the same time, so it’s a good deal. Still, I don’t like to think about a year in a chunk like that, to commit to something so far ahead into the future. The university thing scares me a little, too. I don’t know if I’m trying to find “answers” by doing some course, that really, I should be finding from sitting in my little house and writing all winter. I mean, that’s why I took this teeny tiny place by myself – so I could do all those solo things I’ve been wanting to do for so long. And no longer can I use the excuse “if only I lived on my own, I’d…”

But now I’m afraid that I’ll spend all my time worrying about my classes. I’ve estimated that they’ll take up all of two hours of study a day. Is that a lot? Is that too much when you’re working all day as well? I wish there was some way I could tell. There’s a cut off date – March 26 – where you can drop a paper and still get all your money back. I guess I’ll just have to try them both and see, and hopefully I’ll have a good idea of what the year will feel like by March 26. It’s a rather absurd thought, really, but what else can I do? I’ve already been in email contact with the two women running each of the courses, and I feel like I’ve made some kind of commitment to both of them. It feels mean at this stage not to enrol in either of their courses.

…a bad reason to take any class, I know! Still, I’ve decided I’m not going to make up my mind until mid-March. Should make for an interesting couple of weeks ahead.

Listening to Belle and Sebastian’s “If You’re Feeling Sinister”, which is slowly becoming my favorite of their albums. Well…tied with “Dear Catastrophe Waitress.” Did I mention another B&S t-shirt came in the mail for me today? (No that’s not me in the picture.)

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