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Stress! and sweet-smelling goo.

23 Feb

Jeez, what a stressful morning. Taking the cats into the vet for their annual checkup/vaccinations. The traffic for some reason coming out of Karori was hideous – everyone driving straight up the guts, all at the same time. Guess it is the rain. Still, I was an idiot for going up the middle like everyone else, instead of taking one of the side roads. In the meantime, cats meowing and pooing in their cages and I’m trying to talk to them and calm them down.

At the vet’s was the usual checking Sooty’s teeth (he has bad teeth, despite all the special dental catfood I buy him), and talk about how they are too fat (and that makes me feel like a terrible parent), but my vet was really good and went through exactly how much of what sort of food they should be having every day. I know. It sounds incredibly obvious, but it was good to do.

So now everyone is flaked out at home – Pips on the couch in the lounge, Soots on the bed, on my sweater that I really need to reclaim. It’s gusting and howling a gale out there, and it’s raining a bit too. In about 20 minutes I need to make my lunch and get dressed for work. It’s ok. I’ve been home the past few days because there just hasn’t been enough for me to test, but it sounds like another component of the project is going to be ready enough for me to start planning the test approach for. Gotta love these agile projects.

Yesterday I discovered this awesome website, Crunchy Betty. Actually I found it on the weekend when I was wanting to make some solid perfume thingies, but only started looking at the rest of the site yesterday. Ye gods, this thing is awesome! I got carried away and made a sugar and coconut oil body scrub, face scrub (with oats, clay and ground chamomile), massage oil (not from the website, now I think of it), and HOMEMADE toothpaste. Random, or what? I also tried making a body lotion emulsion that I saw somewhere else and I now have a big pile of white goo that smells of ylang-ylang. Ah well, you can’t win ‘em all.

I’m now plotting to make some whipped shea butter (to replace the delicious-smelling goo that will wind up in the bin soon), some sports massage oil (b/f is an athlete!), some sprayable perfume and maybe some face masks and other thingies. Yusss. It is awesomely fun.

My fave? Probably the coconut-sugar scrub. You use 1/2 cup sugar, 1/2 cup coconut oil, and I put in about three drops of geranium essential oil. I used it in the shower last night and it was stunningly good. The toothpaste was pretty damn good too, if I do say so myself.

Anyway – about time to go think about sandwiches. Adios.

A little bit nice

22 Feb

My archives are starting to look ridiculous. Whenever I think about knocking this thing on the head (what is it anyway? blathering, rambling, one of those blogs that professional bloggers warn you against starting up) I can’t help but look back at all the shite stuff I’ve written over the years and feel a bit of a pang. Writing, crafts (my etsy shop that never really took off), music, tarot, reading, game reviewing, sporadic entries into typecasting…

The latest new thing I’m trying is a new blog called A little bit nice. It’s not a blog, not really. Just postings of little pockets of life, intended to…argh, what did I say on the ‘About’ page?

A Little Bit Nice is here to bring you something nice to look at, listen to, watch, and think about as you go about your day.

It’s twee, but not meant to be insipid. And it’s not meant to be a curated pile of links to other things on the internet. We’ll see how it works out. (Stay tuned…..)

In the meantime, I am feeling a bit like my namesake, discombobulated. Woke up and tried to gather cats up for the vet at 8:30. Black cat ran out into the rain, suspicious (he always seems to know). Had to ring the vet to cancel. Turned out they were booked in for tomorrow morning.

It’s wet outside. Raining steadily. I recorded the rain this morning and put it up on the other blog.

The first paragraphs of Act 2 of my novel are sitting on the typewriter. The page is curling because it has sat wrapped around the platen for so long. I look at it every day. I scribble ideas down, try to map the structure of the next Act. It feels like starting all over again. I know what I want to say, but I don’t know how to start it.

There’s a parcel for me waiting at the post office. I suppose I will drive down and collect it.

This guy is awesome

8 Feb

http://thingaday2012.wordpress.com/author/dubikaufmann/

Breakfast

16 Oct

image

Lunchtime in the cemetery

1 Dec

So I thought I’d try out blogging from the new iPad; so far I’m really enjoying the way I can fit everything in my bag when I go to work now. As relatively light as my laptop is, I did tend to avoid carrying it around, as when packed with book(s), lunch, glasses, pens, notebooks, diary and other stuff, the whole package was getting quite unwieldy.

Granted, this whole purchase is a rather grand experiment in alternate ways to fit writing into the day. But if anyone’s interested, here are my reasons for taking the iPad route:

* I very specifically wasn’t looking for a laptop / computer replacement. I already have a laptop that, while old, continues to do its thing extremely well.

* I wanted something that would be really portable, easy to use, but also with a reasonable battery life.

* I didn’t want to get an iPhone.

* I was hoping whatever it was would let me both type, but also use a stylus for tablet-style inking. I know the iPad isn’t remotely comparable to pc tablets, but as I said, I didn’t want to go down that route.

* Cost was also a factor… I’d considered the MacBook air but it was just that little bit more expensive. And while things like disk space, multi-tasking and other valid arguments against the ‘Pad are totally relevant, for my purposes (writing, mostly), these weren’t really deal breakers.

Plus they are awesome to use, and loads of fun, heh.

So, I haven’t written in five or so months. Sorry about that. What have I been doing?

After a rather extensive phase spent up to my elbows in dye, fibre, and handspun wool, I got a phone call a from my old company, wondering if I could do a spot of testing for them. I’d already taken on some part time work in the mornings, but I said if that fit in with their project needs, then I’d be happy to work for them. I think that was in August. Things have been really busy since then.

We did get away for a trip to Melbourne, and if this app will let me (WordPress for iPad), I’ll post some pictures. Melbourne was amazing, simply amazing, but I got sick while I was there, and whatever it was really took hold. I was crook for a couple of weeks.

Oh. The other thing that happened was back in July, and I suspect it’s the reason my blogging sort of petered out then. My nana passed away after a long bout with dementia. The whole thing was overwhelming, but in a quieter, softer sort of way compared to my grandpa’s death. His passing was completely traumatic for everyone; it was just so unexpected. But with nana, it was… Awfully sad, but a bit bittersweet as well. Bittersweet’s the wrong word. A peaceful end, anyway.

And so here we are, and it’s December somehow. Did the year off go as I’d planned it? Not exactly. But one thing I enjoyed was the chance to just breathe, to detach from being pinned to the desk at work, to be able to spend some time doing other things, just for the pleasure of doing them. I didn’t write as much as I originally wanted to (though I have been doing loads of game reviews), but having not written, I’m aware of how much pleasure it gives me, and how much a part of my life it is.

I didn’t do NaNoWriMo this year; the trip, and getting sick put an end to any delusions of catching up on my word count. But I think my goal for the Christmas period is going to be to try and write every day, even if it’s just a little bit. I have so much of this story to tell, the floodgates are straining, about to burst open. I just need to give myself the time, and to make sure I have fun doing it.

Sick again

18 Feb

I haven’t been doing too well lately! Several weeks ago had the hangover from hell after a Thursday night catch up with Intergen folk (ex-work bods) to celebrate their website launch, and this week I’ve got some sort of horrible sinus/throat/lethargy going on, when I’m meant to be working at Webstock this week. I guess I was feeling pretty run down to begin with, and after a couple of long days on Monday and Tuesday (packing the swag bags, getting name tags all set up for registrations, etc. etc.) I woke up yesterday with the worst sore throat and nasty sinuses. Today the sinuses have set in, I have a headache I can’t get rid of (even with disprin) and I’ll be lucky if I get out of my PJs today.

Sigh! So it’s not looking/feeling likely that I’ll be back to Webstock tomorrow, as much as I really want to be there. The Thursday-Friday conference is just so buzzy and awesome.

In the meantime, I’ve been sleeping (5 hours during the day yesterday), doing loads of tarot study & readings (I’ll have to do a post on this soon), and watching Hex, which I never saw when it first came out. I’m not doing much writing (my stuffy head just doesn’t work with trying to imagine *anything*) and the house is a mess. Ah well.

Anyway, that’s me. If anyone’s keen on a short (3 card) tarot reading then DM me on twitter (link in the right hand sidebar). I want the practice!

___

Listening to: National Radio

Drinking: tea

On ‘the shtick’ and having a pointless blog…

27 Aug

Every once in a while I sit down to blog and think “I should really have more of a thing going on here…” A thing. You know, a shtick. Everyone seems to have quite professional looking blogs these days, either making finer points about AR or VR or social media or new media or knitting or LOLCats. My blog’s a bit of a mess by comparison. I can’t exactly put the URL on a business card, or god forbid, my CV, as a shining example of my writing style and my suitability for a particular job. This is a social gig, plain and simple. At least I think it’s social. Or am I just talking to myself? So what’s the point of it all?

This was originally going to be a beat-up post, where I pointed out all the various flaws of the site (irregular updates, random musings, some too long, others too short, odd links and retarded photo skills), but you know what? Fuck it. I like my blog. It has an intangibility that I find refreshing, a jumbled-up mix of nothingness that makes me feel complete as a human being. My suitcase full of carefully-written diaries (going back to when I was seven) will stick around for posterity when I’m old and grey – or maybe some little shite of a grandchild will decide to throw it all away. What we consider tangible objects are illusory anyway, I reckon.

So why not – why not a salute to the pointless blog, to the messy blog, the jack-of-all-trades blog, the irregular, unprofessional blog, the blog with poor spelling, the blog that always apologizes for not having written sooner. As multitudinous as they all are, there’s something fantastic about the way we all seem to still be sticking around, smelling up the place, while the sophisticated journalism students (I don’t know where that reference came from, BTW) produce flawless copy. Even though Twitter has taken the personal broadcast to the next level, I’m still kinda fascinated that so many of us are persisting in our blogging endeavours.

My blog is exactly like my life, like my house. You step in through my front door and the first thing you see is not some artfully-arranged display of framed pictures against a neutral background with splashes of feature colour here and there. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m a clutterbug. And my bookshelves – there’s anything and everything about everything in there. Every genre. Academic writing, sci-fi, poetry, YA. Ditto with my music. Even if I wanted to limit myself to writing about a particular subject, I’d have absolutely no way to choose: do I write about writing game reviews? being a stationery fiend? a reader? a student? an IT worker? a crafter? a house renovator? an American-Kiwi? And like my tastes in books, in music, movies, friends, booze, games and men, I couldn’t tell you for certain exactly where those tastes come from or why I feel so passionately about them.

There’s definitely a valid argument in favour of refining your mind in one direction. Looking at the many different angles of a particular subject requires precision and discipline of thought. But broad thinking can produce magic too, as well as junk. I guess that’s why blogs that concentrate on just one or two subjects are that much more palatable. With our waning concentration levels we feel like we can’t afford to waste any time on something that might surprise us – for good or for bad.

At least a blog with a shtick is sort of advertising its wares before we have to make that commitment to follow it or not. Because interestingly, people seem to want to find a blog they can follow, that they can stick with for a long period of time. We don’t tend to skim across blogs (unlike other online content) – we want to plumb them. We have different expectations from blogs than our expectations of regular people. We don’t mind if our friends blather on about the everyday junk in their lives. We just don’t want our blogs to do the same…

Buddha machines and other stuff

30 Apr

I’ve been playing with this all evening. Maybe ‘playing’ is the wrong word. I was initially looking for something white-noisey that I could listen to while I was trying to write and Steve was pootling around the house. I thought initially that even something like sounds of rainfall or waves might do the trick, and somehow I came across the very awesome Buddha machine. It’s one of those things that’s been around for yonks but of course you never hear about it but everyone else does. This is what they look like:

buddha machinesawesome eh? These are the first versions (there is a mark II model out there).  The sound is crackly and there are only a few looped tracks that play over and over endlessly – or until your AA batteries run out.

I like them. Like their tinny quality, surreal, dreamy sounds, and even the way they look. I think I’m going to get one for Jeremy D – especially after he sent me this incredible typewriter all the way from Perth. I’ve been looking for a present for him for ages; something a bit different. And he’s an extremely spiritual chap, so I think this would suit him right down to the ground.

I really haven’t been blogging much lately. Have been spending all my computer time either messing around with different apps like Scrivener and Midnight Inbox (which is finally working for me, with the latest release), or surfing, or writing.

Work’s… well- it’s hard at the moment. Lots of pushing and pulling and it’s very frustrating. No real chance to stick to one project all the way through. I spend quite a lot of time angsting about work, and the funny part is the actual work part of work I really enjoy. I’m just not very good at all the other stuff. Pleasing people, playing the game. Some people are just so damn good at playing the game I really can’t begrudge them. I’m too much in awe. It’s just not part of my makeup at all.

And NZGamer? I haven’t had much to review from them lately either. I’m not sure what’s going on at the moment. Maybe I’m giving off some “keep away” vibe. Or maybe it’s just winter. I don’t know. I do know that I’m very content just doing my own thing, writing, reading, pawing through old papers and notes, getting out some old books I haven’t read for ages. One’s on meditation, which I was reasonably into for a while, maybe ten years or so ago. I need a little more calm and relaxation. Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to those buddha machines. I’m enjoying the ‘between spaces’, the uncommittal, the undefined object, thoughts that drift by, that you don’t necessarily need to always catch and do something with.

INFP stuff

7 Apr

here

creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, prone to quitting, prone to feelings of loneliness, ambivalent of the rules, solitary, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness, focus on fantasies, acts without planning, low self confidence, emotionally moody, can feel defective, prone to lateness, likes esoteric things, wounded at the core, feels shame, frequently losing things, prone to sadness, prone to dreaming about a rescuer, disorderly, observer, easily distracted, does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private, can feel uncomfortable around others, familiar with the darkside, hermit, more likely to support marijuana legalization, can sabotage self, likes the rain, sometimes can’t control fearful thoughts, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic

Typecast #2

7 Mar

post2

Philosophical Zombies

22 Jan

here
and here

Found blog

12 Jan

First day back at work after a lovely long break (3 weeks)! To be totally honest it’s going to be a tough week – am feeling really uninspired at the moment; I just want to sit at home, listen to music, read, write, cook, knit, drink… you get the picture.

I did however find this cool blog this evening, called Work Your Soul… in particular I found this (the joys of pyrex!) and this (make your own photo transfers!) to be awesome.

And what else for me? Well, I’ll be trying to write (morning pages, work on the longer peice), read (The Little Friend, by Donna Tartt) and knit (Calorimetry, in Manos del Uruguay), and maybe working on one or two of those new year’s resolutions…

Like looking into a mirror.

17 Dec

This picture captures my mood perfectly today

fwndr

fwndr

Originally uploaded by fwndr.

Howdy

20 Nov

Quiet night. Got home around six-ish, made dinner, and then totally flaked out and did nothing for the next two hours. In fairness I’ve been pretty strict with myself, and structured with nanowrimo, and haven’t had a night off all month, but I still do feel pretty blah about not doing anything tonight.

But hey, the fire’s going, I have a glass of red wine, and the cat’s perched by my lap, curled up beside me. Things could be a lot lot lot worse. Work hasn’t been too bad, and Christmas is just around the corner.

I guess – I guess it’s just strange to have everything so stable around me at the moment. The house is lovely, it’s starting to get more like summer every day, the veggies in the garden are shooting up, we’re going to have a huge reunion with both our families coming together for Christmas… but something feels like it’s missing. I certainly don’t miss the dramas I had back in Dublin with awful flatmates (who I won’t name, but it wasn’t the big kiwi-aussie flat, nor was it the lovely flat with Catherine and Karl), or the general lost feeling I had all the time. But I do miss those feelings of discovery, of being somewhere new, of exploring, doing exciting things, meeting new people. I miss the adventure. And as nice as everything is at the moment, I guess the ‘blah’ I’m feeling comes from missing that sense of looking at the world with wonder, like you do when you travel.

I miss Holland. Is that weird? Miss Delft, Scheveningen, The Hague… miss the brown cafes, miss riding everywhere, even miss those weeks when we were hanging out with Niels and Douglas and Brugt at their cool place with the half bike above the door, rigged up as their street light, visiting the kornbeurs, going to movies, riding around, just doing nothing. Man, that was eight years ago! Hard to believe. I miss wandering around Delft, riding over canals in the snow…

Long time no write!

25 Aug

er, yes, sorry about that. I’ve been so ridiculously preoccupied with all sorts of things that I’ve been a terrible, awful correspondent lately. You should see my to-do list!

I’ve been busy with a writing workshop I’m doing through writers.com, with the very lovely and eagle-eyed Sandra Novak, have been buying up large on the old typewriter front, have been trying to finish off several knitting projects (mystery christmas present for my sister, pair of socks, sweater I have had on needles for a few years (urgh!) now), and generally trying to keep it together at work, oh, and I’ve joined a gym too. Once you get to know me, though, you’ll know that I tend to go through phases of doing things, and then not doing things. Profound, I know.

Soon I will have chucked it all in and you’ll be getting frequent blog updates, where I expound upon all the chocolate I’ve been eating and computer games I’ve been playing. (I have been playing Discworld far too much lately as well…)

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